Mean Girls

Mean Girls

The other week I had the misfortune of being alive and in the same room as someone who was watching a film called Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. Now, granted, a mid-twenties self-confessed "cool dude" like myself is probably not this film's target audience, but the five minutes I caught of this film was enough to make we weary of anything starring Lindsey Lohan. She's obviously still in her Disney light & fluffy family film phase, I thought, so I'll just be patient and sit back and wait until she decides she has to take on a raunchy role to shed her Herbie image.

Then someone convinced me to watch Mean Girls. Well, someone called me up and said, “Wanna watch Mean Girls ?” and I said, “Yes”. It was either that or an Elvis telemovie, so I went with Miss Lohan, but made sure I brought enough beer to numb myself in case I was about to experience more Drama Queen tripe.

Apparently Mean Girls is based on a book. No big surprise there, you may be saying, but you would be getting unnecessarily smarmy a little too soon as I reveal that it's not based on just any book, but a self-help guide for parents to understanding teen girl cliques. Not sure where I'm going with that, but I think you'll agree it's an interesting fact. Maybe it'll pay off later. Anyways, the plot has home-schooled Lindsey Lohan going to high school for the first time, and being quickly swallowed up in the cliques of high-school and the politics of popularity.

Apart from the home-schooled bit it pretty much sounds like every other teen film, doesn't it? Perhaps then it would be helpful for your viewing consideration if I compare it to some other teen films:

Mean Girls is no Heathers. The comedy is definitely not black, hell it's not even grey. It's light and fluffy in places, but at least it has the tenacity to undercut most of its big sappy moments with a throwaway gag or two.

Mean Girls is not a Clueless. It's just not that clever or likeable. It's also not loosely based on a Jane Austen book and doesn't have “the black guy from Clueless” like Clueless does.

It's probably more around the 10 Things I Hate About You mark, although it lacks the spunk and (dare I say) heart of that flick. Plus 10 Things... had a great cast – although Julia Stiles ended up sucking in everything else she has ever done.

Best comparison I can find is Never Been Kissed. A contrived plot, boring at times, but at least it doesn't seem to take itself too seriously, and has a few memorable laughs. Actually thinking about it, David Arquette was pretty funny in that film, especially when he's chugging the big tub of coleslaw, so maybe it's not as good as that either.

Well at least Mean Girls is much, much better than American Pie 4: Band Camp, How to Deal (sorry Mandy) , Loser, Jawbreaker, Down To You, Get Over It, and a whole bunch of other teen flicks that were so forgettable I can't remember them right now. Which really isn't saying much I guess.

The last half an hour is barely a film, and more an after-school special that should be called Don't Be A Bitch In High School. The bitches get their comeuppance (one gets hit by a bus) and everything works out in the end because everyone realises the error of their ways and becomes nice to each other.

It's like the film tried to turn itself into a self-help guide for teen girls - much like the book it was based on (see – that interesting fact paid off after all!) while being cleverly disguised as light entertainment. The filmmakers were probably hoping that every girl who watched this left the theatre thinking “What a great girl utopia that was, what with everyone having respect for one another and all. I think I'll be nicer to that girl with the moustache Monday at school” but in real life they would get to school on Monday and again laugh at the girl because, well, she has a moustache. That's comedy gold.

Before it descends into group therapy Mean Girls is a bit funny. A little bit funny. A few chuckles, a laugh or two, and some hot chicks. It's average, but easily the most watchable Lindsey Lohan flick we have until she makes her Poison Ivy . And that will be a great day for us all.