Into the Blue
Reviewed by Uncle Cliff (2006)

Jessica Alba’s Ass
a poem by Uncle Cliff

I love Jessica Alba’s ass,
Like the trees love the taste of the rain,
Like the flowers love the caress of the bee,
Like windmills love the kiss of the wind,
Or like a lazy poet loves a good simile,
It is a mighty mighty fine ass.

I love Jessica Alba’s ass,
In photos or on the big movie screen,
In bikini bottoms or just plain old jeans,
Standing, running, swimming or dancing,
Walking, thinking, jumping or prancing,
Especially swimming.

I love Jessica Alba’s ass,
No other compares, not even Cameron Diaz,
And yet even with her ass as the star,
Into the Blue was still shithouse by far,
I lost all interest the very second when,
Her ass left a scene, and sleep then beckoned.

I love Jessica Alba’s ass,
Yes. Yes I do.

Dedicated to my Grandma.