Brokeback Mountain
Also reviewed by:
Johnny Five
Maybe because it's a two-and-a-half hour film based on a story that's about nine pages long, but I thought this film was going to be painfully slow. Or maybe it's because a few people actually said to me, “dude, it's painfully slow” that I thought that. Either way, I imagined Brokeback Mountain would be all beautiful scenery and lingering glances, and then a few scattered minutes of man-pashing and not much more. There is all that, but the bulk of the film is how the illicit romance that took place on that mountain between these two star-crossed cowboys impacts the rest of their lives, and this tragic and heart-felt tale actually moves a lot quicker than I had been led to believe, but I guess that all depends on how much you invest in the characters.
People seem divided on how Ledger plays the stoic closed-book Ennis, but personally I think the man's a real fucking talent, and love his approach to the characters he has been playing lately. Gyllenhaal isn't quite as brilliant as the more optimistic Jack Twist, but he does alright for a pretty boy, and the two lads are ably supported by the ladies of the film: Michelle Williams and Anne Hathaway and also great in smaller roles are Anna Faris and Linda Cardellini, wonderful eye candy included so you can remind yourself you are a red blooded male if you need to.
As for the homosexuality…well I would sincerely love to pretend to be all P.C. and had written a review that didn't even bring it up, treating the love affair between Jack and Ennis the same as any heterosexual relationship we've scene on film, but c'mon, who are we kidding? Two of the hottest young male actors getting all sweaty together is a major fucking talking point. Just as it would be if Scarlett Joahansson and Angelina Jolie were paired up as lesbians in a film (incidentally that film would possibly also shatter all box-office records – get on it Hollywood ). If it were two no name actors, or if it paired up has-beens like Andrew McCarthy and Anthony Michael-Hall it would have disappeared to the queer shelf of your local video store and that would have been it, but these Hollywood heavy-weights were chosen to bring the film to the masses, and to create a talking point. That's my disclaimer in case someone calls me a homophobe anyway.
It's my theory that the music in Brokeback makes them gay before anything has even happened. Even if I had been making home videos with Osama in a cave somewhere and had never heard of this film, I could have guessed what was going to happen from the first few notes of the score. Play that music over The Dirty Dozen and it would seem they were just one note away from an all-in orgy. It was somewhat uncomfortable then when I went to get some remedial work done on my sore back and the music that the masseuse put on was very similar to the Brokeback theme. I left more sore than when I went in… which is common in massages I'm told because the work stirs up all the toxins in your body – what, did you think I was making a gay joke or something? How very immature.