American Pie: Band Camp

American Pie: Band Camp

Also reviewed by:
Thomas J.

See also:
American Pie (Uncle Cliff)
American Pie 2 (Uncle Cliff)
American Wedding (Uncle Cliff)

First they were in high school. Then they were in college. Next came a wedding. These American Pie kids were growing up fast and whoever held the rights to any further sequels was probably tearing their hair out over which direction to take the epic saga next. American Child ? American Pie: The Divorce? American Pie: A Very American Christmas?

Luckily some genius at Hollywood Crap Inc. hit paydirt. Faced with the dilemma that they probably couldn't afford to get any of the original kids back (well, couldn't afford to get Stifler back, the rest of them would probably jump at the chance of getting their fourth ever paycheck) they've come up with American Pie: The Next Generation .

The main character here is Stifler's little brother, Matt, a different actor than the one in the other films. The cunning geniuses have hired someone that looks like a Sean William Scott clone gone wrong, and basically get him to swear incessantly, in the hope that you'll confuse him for the real deal. They've also used some familiar surroundings in the high school and band camp, and chucked in a shitload of conversations about the original characters ("Hey, did you know that Jim guy and that red-haired band camp geek had a kid together!") just in case you forget what film you're watching. Sadly, there's also Eugene Levy.

Forgetting that the character of "Jim's Dad" probably only worked when there was a Jim around for him to be a Dad to, the writer has just chucked him in the film haphazardly, and unfortunately Levy turned up to work. Poor guy must have some huge ass gambling debts. There's also a cameo from "The Sherminator" which injects some new life into the whole "this guy thinks he is the Terminator" gag that will never, never get old.

The story really pushes the envelope for the series. Stifler Jnr has to go to band camp as punishment for pulling some prank on the band geeks at school. Here he concocts the most brilliantly thought out hair-brained scheme in the history of hair-brained schemes: Film all the band geeks naked and having sex and sell the result! Zack from Saved By The Bell would be so proud.

Somewhat unpredictably, this does not go according to plan. He falls in love, befriends the geeks, plays the bagpipes, blah blah blah, the usual clichés, all stuff I could have stomached if they had at least shown a great deal of tit. They don't.

Instead they give us a brilliant rendering of a troubled misunderstood character. Is little Stifler just acting out to try and live up to his brother's reputation? Does he really have a softer side he covers up by filming girls naked and sticking his dick in various musical instruments? Was he really a band geek himself before people started laughing at his bagpipes?

These are all valid, deep, soulful, resonating questions that could really make you think twice about how we as a society treat young perverts and assholes. Questions that raise this film beyond the crass teen T&A film genre and up into a dramatic character-study masterpiece that truth be told was above me. I just wanted some titty.

The single redeeming feature for me in this film was a cute, cute chick: the "love interest". If Jessica Alba and Mandy Moore had sex, this is what their child would look like. In fact it was this very thought, in the absence of titties, that kept me entertained during the remainder of the film and which made it seem like an almost tolerable experience. Jesus I would love to see that show.